thequeenmermaid:

thundergrace:

“I’m wearing a dress and I got a haircut cause I wanna look nice today. Do I look nice?!”

This quote is just…matched with Arizona’s facial expressions, it is just perfect. The way she says it - the way she believes that if she looks nice, it’s going to be okay. The way she seeks validation from Callie in this moment; the look of genuine desperation in her eyes. It all just paints this heartbreaking picture of this lost little girl, grasping at straws, just barely keeping it together…if she can just look nice. It’s such a revelation of where Arizona is right now, and also where she isn’t.

She is that lost little girl. She’s that little girl who had to move around constantly, from school to school, state to state. She’s the girl who loved who brother, the one constant companion she had, and then lost him. She’s the girl whose parents taught her that compartmentalizing and smiling was the answer to everything, even heartrending, paralyzing grief.

And now…now, she is terrified. Because maybe even more than losing Callie, Arizona is afraid to go into that room and open herself; to speak truths that she’s spent her whole life trying to avoid. This room is the scariest place she could possibly occupy right now. Looking nice isn’t enough anymore.

She’s losing control. She needs help. And she’s terrified.